The Perfect Moment

Author’s Note:  Trixie Belden® is the registered trademark of Random House. This story is not for profit. 

This story features lyrics from "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of" by U2.  Rest in peace Michael Hutchence.

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass

"Is it okay if I spend the night at Di's again tonight?" Hallie asked over breakfast.

Trixie frowned slightly.  Hallie had been in Sleepyside over a week now and she ad spent three of the last five nights at Di's.  Hallie seemed to be growing closer to both Di and Dan, but Trixie's relationship with Di felt stagnated.

"That's fine Hallie," Helen told her.  "You two seem to have grown very close."

"I like Di," Hallie grinned.  "She's a lot of fun."

Helen nodded while Trixie's frown deepened.

Helen felt badly that Hallie's father still hadn't called and she worried over it at night when she and Peter went to bed.

"It's not our place to get involved," he had told her.

"But Peter she needs her father, and he's your brother, you should talk to him," Helen had replied.  "He got us involved by asking us to take care of Hallie."

Peter had sighed.  "She seems like she's coping okay."

"From the outside," Helen had pointed out.  "But on the inside she's still a young girl dealing with an awful lot.  Please call him."

"I guess you're right," he had relented.  "I'll call him tomorrow night."

Helen now glanced over at Trixie, who stared hard at her empty plate.

I can be fun too, she thought.  I'm glad she's made friends and she's found someone to confide in, but why does she keep deliberately shutting me out?

"What are you up to today Trix?" Hallie asked.

"I was going for a ride, but the others are busy," Trixie answered and then added hesitantly, "Would you like to come?"

"Sure, that would be fun," Hallie accepted immediately.  "We haven't spent much time together lately."

Trixie looked up at her in surprise.  She met Hallie's grin with a smile of her own and nodded.

"Why don't you two go and get ready," Helen encouraged them.  "I'll do the dishes this morning."

Both girls smiled gratefully at Helen and quickly got up and piled their dishes in the sink.

"Thanks for asking," Hallie said as they headed up the stairs.

"I'm glad you could come," Trixie replied earnestly.

The morning was quite pleasant as they rode through the woods, the heat of the day not yet upon them.  Trixie sat comfortably on Susie, but she could tell from Hallie's posture that she was not yet used to riding Lady.

"Still getting your sea legs?" Trixie grinned.

"I'm only just starting to get over saddle soreness," Hallie admitted.  "But it's worth it.  We've had some great rides and the woods back home are nothing like this."

"Do you miss home?" Trixie asked carefully.

"Yes and no," Hallie admitted.  "There's something so wonderful about being here and being able to be myself, but there are a lot of things I miss from home."

Trixie nodded and they continued through the woods for a while without speaking.

"Is everything okay Trix?" Hallie asked finally.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been pretty quiet the last few days," Hallie told her.  "Is there anything wrong?"

Trixie sighed and wondered how to answer.

"You haven't been around much the last few days," Trixie replied.  "But then again, neither has anyone else."

Hallie lowered her eyes.

"You mean Honey's been busy with Brian, Di and Mart are always together and I'm either with Di or Dan," Hallie surmised.  "I guess it must be pretty lonely for you.  What about Jim?  Have you been spending much time with him?"

Trixie flushed.

"A bit," she admitted.  "But I'm really confused.  We talked the night of the ride and he said some things that were really nice, but I'm not sure what he meant."

"Do you want to tell me what he said?" Hallie asked.  "It might help if you talk to someone about it."

"I haven't told anyone," she revealed.  "I can't talk to Honey about it and I haven't seen much of Di lately, and you..."

"I haven't been around either," Hallie finished glumly.  "I'm sorry Trix.  I want to help you.  Why don't you tell me what happened?"

Trixie sighed, but smiled gratefully at Hallie.  Maybe it would help if she could just share this with someone.

"He's been talking to me a lot about how different things will be when I leave for college," Trixie began.  "I'm not sure what he was trying to say, I think he still gets pretty homesick."

"Maybe he's missing you," Hallie suggested.

"And his family and friends," Trixie added.  "I don't think it's just me.  That night on the ride he told me I was his best friend.  I was blown away."

"Why?" Hallie asked gently.  "You've always been close, you've always turned to each other first, any of us would have said you were best friends."

"I guess I just never knew he felt that way about me," Trixie murmured.  "And he admitted that he should have told me that before.  Then he said some stuff..."

"Like what?"

"It's hard to explain, I'm not quite sure myself," Trixie frowned and hesitated.  "It was as if he was asking me to promise that things would never change, that we would always be friends."

"That's good, isn't it?" Hallie asked.

"He told me that I was very special to him," Trixie blurted and looked at Hallie with wild eyes.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

Hallie blinked.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him I felt the same way," Trixie admitted.

"And?" Hallie demanded.

"Then you let out a scream and made some joke about Dan being gay," Trixie moaned.  "We haven't really talked about it since.  What do you think it meant?"

"I think it's Jim's way of telling you he loves you," Hallie replied and Trixie gasped.

"No," she shook her head emphatically.  "That's not what he was saying."

"Well, if it's not what he was saying, why are you so confused?" Hallie asked.  "He could have meant that you're a very special friend or he could have meant that you're a special friend because he loves you.  That's all there is to it.  If you didn't think the latter was one of the possible meanings, you wouldn't be so confused."

"But maybe it's because I hoped that's what he was saying," Trixie cried and she gasped as she realised she had openly admitted her feelings.

Hallie smiled reassuringly.

"It's okay to hope that Trix and it's okay to admit it," Hallie told her.  "I'm sure that's what he meant, he wouldn't say it otherwise."

"I'm not so sure," Trixie wailed.  "He's starting to get homesick at the thought of leaving so soon.  I think he's frightened of things changing."

"I think he's scared of losing you," Hallie said quietly.  "He doesn't know how else to tell you."

Trixie shook her head.

"I don't believe it," she sighed.  "I guess I won't ever know what he really meant."

"Why don't you ask him?" Hallie suggested gently.  "It must have been incredibly hard for him to say what he did.  I don't think he'll say anything again unless he knows you feel the same way."

"I - I can't," Trixie stammered.  "I'm scared I'll ruin what we have."

"And what will happen if you don't say anything?" Hallie demanded.  "Will you end up resenting him for stealing your heart and let that ruin your friendship?"

"That will never happen," Trixie told her emphatically.

"I hope it doesn't," Hallie remarked.  "I can't help you anymore than to offer that advice."

Trixie gave a slight nod and reined in Suzie.

"Shall we head back?"

"Whatever you say Trix."

"You can take the first shower," Hallie told Trixie.  "I want to get something to eat first.  I'm starving."

Trixie nodded silently and raced up the stairs after giving her mother a small smile.  Helen looked at Hallie questioningly, who shrugged in return.

"There's a letter here for you," Helen told her as Hallie bit into an apple.

Hallie looked up in surprise and took the envelope from Helen's outstretched hand.  Her heart beat quickened as she recognised the hand writing.

"It's from Cap," Hallie murmured and Helen nodded.

"I think I'll take a short walk through the orchard," Hallie told her absently and headed out the door.

Helen watched her disappear amongst the trees and hoped that Cap's letter wouldn't make her feel too homesick.

Hallie wandered through the trees, the letter clutched tightly in her hand until she felt alone.  She sat down on a rock next to the trickling stream and stared at the envelope.

She had never received a letter from her brother before and she wondered what she would find on the pages.

Slowly, she slid her finger under the flap and withdrew the letter.  Her fingers could feel the indentation of the words and she closed her eyes, almost feeling Cap's pain.

Hallie breathed in sharply, unsure if she could read this now.  She had started to feel better, the sharp edge of pain had numbed and there was only a dull reminder present in her heart.  She didn't know if she was willing to pick at the scab of the healing wound.

Her fingers ran over the letter as she stared out into the trees.

"Hey, there," Dan's deep voice called behind her.

"Was I calling you?" Hallie asked, turning to him with a sad smile.

"Sorry?" Dan asked confused.

"How did you know to come when I needed you most?" Hallie choked, her eyes tearing.

Dan's brow furrowed and he instantly took her in his arms and held her tightly.  Hallie was caught by surprised, and gasped.  The gasp turned into quiet sobs and he held her and stroked her hair as she cried softly on his shoulder.

Dan willed her pain to seep into him, to leave her body and take away her sadness.  It killed him to see her this way and he sighed as her slender body trembled in his arms.

"I'm sorry," she sniffed, finally lifting her head from his shoulder.

He released her gently and she wiped her eyes, hesitantly making eye contact with him.

"You feel any better?" Dan asked softly, his eyes tracing her face.

"Much," she told him sheepishly.  "I'm so glad you were here."

"I just thought I'd come and see how you were doing," Dan told her.  "I didn't expect to find you out here.  Maybe you were calling me, I don't usually come this way."

"Thanks," Hallie said simply and decided she offered him an explanation.  "I just got a letter from Cap."

"It made you homesick?" Dan asked.

"I haven't even read it yet," Hallie admitted.  "I guess that sounds pretty silly given what I just did."

"Not at all," Dan assured her.  "It's often the little things that trigger painful memories, I understand that."

Hallie nodded and looked down at the letter in her hand.

"Why don't I leave you to read that?" Dan suggested.  "I'll go on to Crabapple Farm and I'll see you when you're ready."

"Thanks Dan," Hallie smiled gratefully.

He touched her shoulder gently and their eyes met for a brief moment.

He can see into my soul, Hallie realised in amazement and blinked up at him.  Dan smiled at her and left silently, leaving her to her letter.

Hallie took a deep breath and slowly unfolded the sheets of paper.

Hallie,

I knew you'd be worried about me, I knew you'd be thinking about me and not about yourself and how you're going to cope with Mom's death.

Just like you, I've been worried about you and how you were coping and how you were managing so far away from home.

You were so strong for her Hallie, so strong for all of us.  You held it together longer than the rest of us did and it made a difference to her life and to all of ours.  Those last few months with her were made possible because of your will and your strength to hold it all together for all of us.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to say goodbye to you, but I know you understand why I had to leave.  I bet you felt like running yourself, and I'm sorry I left you and Knut to deal with everything.  I just couldn't do it.

We both need to mourn her death, but we also need to celebrate her life and move on with our own.  Mom would want us to be happy and she was so proud of her only daughter.  She would be glad that you went to Sleepyside to try and piece things back together.  She loved Aunty Helen and Uncle Peter and I know all the Bobwhites will take care of you.

I came back into town just to mail this letter and to let Knut know I was okay.  Dad's still out of town, at least I think he is, and I know you well enough not to say anything more about that.

I want you to know that I'm okay.  I'm dealing with things in my own way and I'm coping.  I haven't been alone the whole time, Alex has spent some time with me.  I don't have to tell you how good it is to have him here.

I hope you have someone to talk to.  I remember Mart and Trixie teasing you about a guy in Sleepyside, and I hope that he's there for you and can help you through this.  Don't do it alone Hallie, we all need someone.

That's about it from me.  Write to me if you feel like it, and I might try and call you next time I'm in town.  I thought about it this time, but didn't know if you were ready.

Take care of yourself.

Love Cap.

Hallie wiped the tears from her face and slowly folded up the letter.  He was thousands of miles away and he still knew her and what she was going through.  She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to will away the homesickness she felt for him.

"Thanks Cap," she whispered to the wind.  "For a birdbrain, you sure know what to say to make me feel better."

Hallie stood up and walked slowly back to the house, where Dan waited for her on the porch.

"Are you sure we're all alone?" Brian asked Honey, slightly anxious.

"I'm positive," Honey assured him, running her fingers over his chest.  "Miss Trask is still away at her brother's, Regan's watching the wrestling and Jim went to the movies with Trixie."

"Just the two of them?" Brian asked in surprise.

"I think so," Honey answered.  "They've been growing closer this summer."

"He doesn't say as much, but he misses her like crazy," Brian smiled.

"As much as you miss me?" Honey asked playfully.

"Never," Brian assured her and kissed her, pushing her back on to the bed.

Her kisses were as sweet as the first they had shared almost three years ago and they excited him now more than ever.

Honey moaned softly as his mouth travelled to her neck and sprinkled kisses over silky skin.  He slowly unfastened the buttons on her blouse, his mouth moving down to follow his hands.  She murmured in encouragement as he pulled open her blouse and her skin tingled at the feel of his hot breath against her.

"Oh, Honey," Brian groaned.  "You're so beautiful.  I love you so much."

Honey's eyes rolled back in ecstasy.  The man she loved worshipped her and loved her and made her feel incredible.

"I love you Brian," she gasped as his hands caressed her breasts. 

He buried his mouth in her cleavage as his hands made gentle circles over her breasts.  Honey writhed underneath his touch, yearning to feel his hands on her bare skin.

"Please Brian..." Honey pleaded.

He growled as she sat up and he pulled her blouse from her and released the clasp on her bra.  He gently removed it and paused a moment to take in her beauty.

"Brian..." Honey begged.

She fell back onto the bed and he took her breasts in his hands, circling her nipples with his thumbs and making her whimper excitedly.  He groaned as his mouth moved to envelop her nipple and he suckled softly on her, feeling her hips press into him.

Honey clawed at his back, squirming underneath him.

"Touch me," she pleaded and he growled.  Under his touch she was no longer the shy, reserved girl but a sexy, wanting woman.

He slid her skirt down over her hips and slipped his hand under her panties as he continued to feed on her breasts.  The moment his deft finger found her clitoris, Honey was in heaven.  He teased it, rolling it gently, keeping pace with his tongue.

"Oh Brian, yes," Honey moaned.  "I love you, I love this... oh... yes..."

Honey raced towards orgasm.  Brian's mouth and fingers bringing her quickly to the brink and pushing her over with a gasp, and her hips moved quickly against him as she cried out loudly, almost sobbing at the intense pleasure.

Brian kissed her deeply and passionately, thrusting his tongue deep inside her and they kissed until they were breathless. 

Honey rolled Brian to his side and reached to undo his pants, eager to free the hard cock she saw straining against his pants.  He groaned as she quickly released him into her soft hands and she rubbed the sensitive skin.

"I ache for you," she murmured.  "I'd love to know what it feels like to have you inside of me."

Brian's eyes widened in surprise and he closed his eyes in frustration.

"Honey..." he moaned.  "We can't, not like this."

"Why not?" Honey asked coyly as she continued stroking him and planted small kisses at the base of his stomach.

"Because I don't want to... uh... rush into it," Brian stumbled as her thumb flicked over the head of his cock and her mouth hovered above it.  "I want it to be special, I want it to be right."

"What could be any more right than this?" Honey demanded, tightening her grasp.  "We've been together for almost two years.  Don't you want to?"

"Oh, God Honey, you make me feel incredible," Brian gasped.  "You know I want you, it's just that you're so young..."

"I'm seventeen," she told and stared at him with hungry eyes as she flicked her tongue over the head of his cock.  "We love each other, we respect each other, what could make this more right?"

She held him in her hands and he writhed in indecision.

"You really want this?"

"Oh, baby," she murmured.  "You know I do."

Brian's head spun as she slipped out of her panties and climbed up his body, her eyes firmly fixed on his.  She allowed his cock to slide between her legs and feel her warmth.  He groaned as she rubbed herself back and forth over him, lubricated by her juices.  They had never gone this far before, he had always stopped it.

"Brian..." Honey breathed and his heart stood still.

"Make love to me.  Please..."

He hesitated for just one second and then raised his head to kiss her hungrily.  His sweet, innocent Honey was asking him to make love to her.  He grabbed her hips and slowly eased himself into her.

Their eyes widened in surprise as he slid inside of her, pushing through the tight muscles.

"Oh..." Honey breathed.

"Am I hurting you?" Brian asked in concern.

"Oh, no," she assured him.  "You feel wonderful."

"So do you," he moaned as her warm, wet muscles enveloped his cock and gripped it tightly.  The sensation was incredible.

Gently, she lowered herself to take him fully inside of her and she smiled at him.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he moaned and gently raised her hips to feel her slide over him.

They began to move together, slowly at first, tentatively experiencing the wonderful, new sensations.  Brian felt alarm at Honey's every moan and whimper until her smiles assured him she was feeling as wonderful as he was and he began to move her hips faster with strong hands.

"Oh yes..." Brian growled as his climax neared.

"I want to feel you," Honey moaned, her golden hair falling around her shoulders.  "I want to feel you come inside me."

Brian's eyes widened in surprise and she ground her hips into him, pushing herself down upon him.  She felt the pulsing of his cock inside her and he gritted his teeth as he came deep inside her, almost howling as the orgasm exploded.

"Oh Honey..." Brian panted as they came to rest.  "That was amazing."

"You felt so good," she murmured, lying herself onto his chest.  "It felt so wonderful."

"Did it?" Brian asked, hugging her tightly.  "Was it alright for you?"

"No," Honey teased him.  "I told you it was wonderful.  I love the feeling of you being inside me."

"Was it what you expected?" Brian asked, gently caressing her face.

"It felt great to have that aching relieved," Honey murmured.  "I always wondered what it would feel like to have that taken away by you and having you fill me in another way.  I didn't know quite what to expect, but you didn't disappoint me."

"I'm so glad," Brian whispered, rocking her gently in his arms.  "It felt like I was wrapped inside all your warmth and all your love and you stroked me and rubbed me until I just exploded in pleasure."

"So you're glad that we did it?" Honey asked shyly.

"You were right, like you usually are," he smiled.  "It was perfect, we didn't need to plan it, it was just right."

"Just like we are together," Honey added happily and snuggled into him.

They held each other, overwhelmed by this new experience and thrilled at taking that next step in their relationship.  There was no right set of circumstances, theirs was just a perfect moment in time.

"What did you think?" Di asked as the video finished, the two girls curled up on the couch.

"It was a bit corny," Hallie groaned.  "Why do these movies always end with the guy and the girl in bed together?"

"Well, I thought it was romantic," Di told her and pressed stopped on the remote.

"You're crazy," Hallie shook her head.  "How do we get along so well when we're so different?"

"You know what that Paula Abdul song says: Opposites Attract," Di giggled.  "Look at me and Mart!"

Hallie snorted.

"Please!  Don't quote Paula Abdul to me," Hallie pleaded.  "Seriously, though, you and Mart seem to have it all together."

"We bring out the best in each other," Di told her happily.  "I can't imagine my life without him.  Next year is going to be hell."

Hallie smiled sympathetically and looked up quickly as she heard a noise outside.

"What's that?" Di cried in alarm.

"I don't know," Hallie answered uncertainly and got off the couch and walked towards the window.

"Don't!" Di cried.  "There might be someone out there."

Hallie peered through the curtains and suddenly pulled them apart.  Di gasped.

Hallie began to laugh.

"Quit hiding behind those bushes and come in here," Hallie called.

Laughing, Mart and Dan appeared from behind the bushes and Di giggled nervously.

"Honestly, you guys," Hallie drawled as she opened the doors.  "You're supposed to be going to college, not acting like ten year old boys spying on their girlfriends."

Hallie bit her lip when she realised what she had said, but Dan and Mart just laughed.

"I've missed you," Mart told Di, pulling her to him for a kiss.

"You were here a couple of hours ago," Di giggled and kissed him back.  They clung together in a passionate embrace.

"Oh will you guys get a room!" Hallie complained.

"Sounds like a great idea," Mart said, leading Di towards the stairs.

Di paused, looking torn between Mart and Hallie.

"Go," Hallie told her, knowing how precious every moment with Mart was to her.

"You two behave yourselves," Mart called to them.  "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Well, that leaves the field pretty much open," Dan remarked as they disappeared and he and Hallie stood awkwardly for a moment.

"So I guess it's just us," Hallie murmured and they sat down on the couch.  "I thought you guys were supposed to be camping."

"We were," Dan grinned.  "But Mart's hormones got in the way, and I didn't want to be sharing a tent with him."

They burst into laughter and the awkwardness evaporated. 

"So tell me about your camping trips. I want to know when you learnt to pitch a tent," Hallie began and they slipped in to an easy conversation that lasted all night.

The car pulled into the driveway of Crabapple Farm and Jim turned off the ignition.

"I had a good time tonight," he began.

"So did I," Trixie replied, a little awkwardly.

"It's been great being able to spend time with you," Jim told her.  "It's funny how we all used to go out together and we rarely spent any time alone, but now it seems the other way round."

"Things are changing," Trixie replied uncertainly.

"I guess sometimes things change for the better," Jim smiled.  "You don't know how good it feels to sit down and have a conversation with you.  Phone calls just aren't the same."

"And I don't get in trouble for tying up the phone," Trixie joked weakly.

Jim looked longingly at her, wondering how to tell her how much it meant to him just to hear her voice when he was so far away.

"Trix -"

"Jim, I..."

They both laughed nervously.

"You first," he offered.

Trixie blushed furiously and looked down at her hands.  Could she risk this?  If she told him how she felt, what would happen?  Would he gently let her down and their friendship disintegrate before her eyes?

She couldn't do it, she'd lost her nerve.

"I had a really good time tonight," she murmured miserably.

He exhaled with disappointment and smiled at her.

"So did I Trix," he told her.  "I guess we'd better call it a night."

Trixie nodded and slowly looked up at him.

Jim leaned towards her and her eyes widened in surprise.  He saw what he thought was alarm in her eyes and quickly brushed his lips across her cheek.

"G'night Trix," he breathed.

"Goodnight," Trixie murmured in disappointment and got quickly out of the car.

The cool night air felt good on her burning cheeks and she didn't turn to look at the car until it had turned back onto the road.

Tears prickled her eyes and she walked slowly into the house.

"Baby, you're sensational," Mart declared as they lay panting on her bed, both beaded in sweat and satiated.

"That makes two of us," Di giggled, trailing her fingers over his chest.

"How am I going to live without you?" Mart moaned as he rolled on his side to look at her with serious eyes.

"Let's not talk about it yet," Di pleaded.  "I don't want to be sad when I'm with you.  I want to have fun."

"Didn't we just have fun?" Mart demanded.

"We sure did," Di agree, kissing him happily.  "And I want lots more of it."

"You're going to wear me out," Mart groaned.  "I'm going to start college so exhausted that the only thing I'm going to be able to do is drag myself to classes."

"That better be the only thing you're doing Mart Belden," Di warned him.  "I don't want you looking at pert, curvy freshmen."

"Why would I when the most beautiful woman in the world loves me?" Mart asked with a goofy smile.  "I love you Di."

"I love you too Mart," Di sighed happily and nestled her head into his chest.

This is such a perfect moment, she thought.  I wish everything could stay like this.

He watched her sleep, she had finally drifted off not long before sun rise.

They had talked all night, about their childhoods, about their dreams and their hopes for the future.  She amazed him.  Her strength, her quiet determination and her vulnerability that she tried hard to conceal.

She had been engraved in his memory since they first met two or three summers ago.  She was beautiful, in a natural, vital way and she had no idea of how stunning she actually was.

He had never felt this way about anyone, hadn't dared to hope for love since he had lost the only people in his life he had ever loved.  Their common loss bonded them more closely and he felt she knew him better than anyone did.

"Hallie..." he murmured her name, enjoying the sound of it rolling from his tongue.  He was close enough to reach out and stroke her dark, glossy hair but he didn't dare.

Soon he would start college, soon she would go home.  He would enjoy this moment while he could.

I will not forsake, the colours that you bring
But the nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I still listen through your ears, and through your eyes I can see

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it
Oh love look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment and now you can't get out of it

The End