Sweet Sorrow

Author’s Note:  Trixie Belden® is the registered trademark of Random House. This story is not for profit. 

This story features lyrics from:

"All I Want is You" by U2
"Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx
"The Day You Went Away" by Wendy Matthews

It's not that Jim hadn't thought about what it would be like to make love to Trixie, it's just that he hadn't even kissed her yet.

"She's not even my girlfriend," he muttered as Brian's words rang in his ears.

"Jim..." Brian began and hesitated.  "I would have reacted the same way if it were you and Trixie."

"Me and Trixie?" Jim spluttered.  "How could - ?  Why would you - ?  I wouldn't..."

"No," Brian replied.  "But maybe you should."

"But I wish she was," Jim sighed.  "If only I wasn't about to leave for college."

Jim went to the window again and stared out across to Crabapple Farm, where he could see the light on in her bedroom window.

Why did everyone else get to be happy? Jim thought miserably.  Brian had Honey, Mart had Di and now Dan was getting very close to Hallie.  They make it work, why couldn't I?

"What are you scared of?" He whispered to himself.

There were lots of reasons.  He was scared she wouldn't return his feelings and that their friendship would be ruined forever.  But even if she did feel the same way, how could their relationship survive so much time apart?  Trixie was about to start her senior year and he'd hate her to be distracted and how would he deal with spending so much time away from her?

"It's not that easy now," he admitted to himself.  "I can't even think about anyone else but her."

What if Brian was right?  Surely he wouldn't encourage me if he didn't think Trixie would reciprocate.  I don't know whether I can stand this much longer, what if she meets someone else?

The thought was enough to make Jim ill and he knew he had to act.  If Honey and Brian could make a long distance relationship work, and Mart and Di were willing to try it, then maybe Trixie and I can make it work.

"It's going to be hard living without her," he admitted.  "But it will be easier than not knowing if she feels the same way, or if I lost her to someone else."

"Tomorrow," Jim murmured, looking down at Trixie's windows.  "Tomorrow, I'm going to tell you how I feel."

Hallie's feet felt as if they were filled with lead as she walked home from Di's house.  She was emotionally and physically exhausted by the lack of sleep and the emotional turmoil she had dealt with in the past day.

Di's parents had arrived home early this morning and the twins had awakened Hallie from her sleep on the couch.  Sleepy-eyed, she had explained to Mr and Mrs Lynch what had happened between Mart and Di and then had excused herself and headed home.

She felt numb and her head was heavy.  She hadn't felt this bad since the last few days before her mother died.  Hallie was an empath, it wasn't something she could control.  She was able to feel the emotions of those around her and it was what made her good at helping other people with their problems.  But if she was also suffering from stress, the intensity was almost unbearable.

Hallie pushed open the kitchen door of Crabapple Farm and was unprepared for the barrage of questions that were fired at her as soon as she walked in.

"How is she?"

"Did she tell you anything?"

"Are you okay?"

"Did you make her change her mind?"

Hallie looked up blindly at the faces staring expectantly at her.

"Hallie, are you okay?" Helen asked in concern.

"I'm sorry, can we do this later?" Hallie mumbled.  "I need to get some sleep."

She stumbled past them and up the stairs, shutting the door once she reached her room and falling onto her bed.  She pulled the blankets up over her, not even bothering to undress, before falling into a dreamless sleep.

"Trixie?  It's Jim."

"Hi...  I was just on my way over," Trixie told Jim.  "What's up?"

"I need to see you," Jim replied earnestly.  "There's something important I want to talk to you about."

"I've got some news for you too," Trixie told him and paused as she wondered what he wanted to discuss.  "I'll be over in about ten minutes, okay?"

"Great," Jim responded happily.  "I'll look forward to it."

He hung up the phone and headed down for breakfast.

"Good morning," Jim said cheerfully as he entered the kitchen where Brian and Honey were making breakfast.

"Good morning Jim," Honey replied, a little surprised.  "You certainly sound cheerful this morning."

"Why shouldn't I be?" Jim asked, smiling at his sister.  "It's a beautiful day."

"It sure is," Brian replied.  "We were thinking about having a picnic down at the lake today.  Are you interested?"

"Maybe," Jim replied vaguely, pouring himself a coffee.  "I could be busy."

"With what?" Honey asked, suspicious.

"Never you mind little sister," Jim grinned.  "You'll find out all in good time."

Brian and Honey exchanged an amused glance as Jim sat down at the table and hid his smile behind the newspaper.

"What's with him?" Honey mouthed at Brian, who shrugged in reply.

I can't wait for Trixie to get her, Jim thought.  I'm going to ask her to go for a walk with me and I'm going to tell her exactly how I feel.

"I thought I might find you all in here."

Jim's head shot up in response to Trixie's voice and his heart beat quickened.

"Trixie!"

"Hi Jim," Trixie smiled, a little ruefully.

"What's up Trix?" Brian asked.  "We were going to call you and organise a picnic at the lake."

"That could be good," Trixie replied thoughtfully.  "It might cheer Mart up a bit."

"What's wrong with Mart?" Honey asked in concern.

"That's what I came here to tell you," Trixie answered.  "It's about Mart and Di."

"What about Mart and Di?" Brian asked impatiently.

Jim's eyes had not left Trixie's face.  His good mood suddenly evaporated.  Something was wrong.

"You're not going to believe what happened," Trixie began, sinking down at the table opposite Jim.

"Just tell us!" Brian demanded.

"I'm trying to," Trixie cried, and took a deep breath.  "Mart and Di broke up."

"What!?" Honey and Brian cried in unison, as the colour drained from Jim's face.

"When did this happen?" Brian cried.

"Last night," Trixie replied.  "Mart came home after dinner in a real state.  He was distraught and crying."

"Why didn't you call us?" Brian demanded.

"There was no point," Trixie explained.  "He went up to his room and wouldn't talk to anyone.  Hallie went over to Di's and she didn't come back until this morning, but she had nothing more to tell."

"But Trixie," Honey began.  "You haven't told us why they broke up."

Jim closed his eyes briefly, he was pretty sure he knew why.

"Di told him she didn't want to have a long distance relationship," Trixie replied in a small voice.  "She said couldn't go through with it."

"Oh, no," Honey cried.  "I thought something was wrong when I spoke to her yesterday, but nothing like this."

"What did she say?" Trixie demanded.

"Um... not much really," Honey tried to remember.  "We were mainly talking about... ah... a problem I had and she gave me some advice.  She just sounded a little distracted.  She did say she'd been to the doctor though, but everything was okay."

"She didn't say anything about breaking up with Mart?" Trixie asked desperately.

"No," Honey answered, shaking her head.  "Nothing like that."

Brian hugged Honey to him as he looked worriedly at Trixie.

"How is Mart?"

"Not good," Trixie grimaced.  "Dan came round last night and Mart hardly spoke to him.  He only came out of his room this morning when Hallie came home, but she went straight to bed."

"What are we going to do?" Honey wailed.  "Jim, you've hardly said a word.  Are you okay?"

"I... um... I'm fine," Jim stammered, a sinking feeling in his stomach.  "I'm just stunned is all."

"We're all shell-shocked," Trixie agreed and she looked up at Honey and Brian.  "Hey, maybe you could talk to Di, Honey.  You and Brian have been in a long distance relationship for ages and you too make it work.  Maybe that would help."

"I could try," Honey replied doubtfully.  "But it sounds like she's made up her mind Trix.  She and Mart talked about this a lot, maybe she's finally come to realise she was fooling herself."

"Maybe you're right," Trixie sighed and looked out the window.  "I don't know how you and Brian manage it, it's bad enough just..."

Her voice trailed off as she realised she was about to reveal her thoughts, and she pressed a hand against her heated face.

"What's going to happen?" Trixie murmured.  "If Di and Mart don't get back together, what's going to happen to all of us?"

Jim felt the door slam shut on his heart.

"Hallie..." Helen called gently.

"Hmph?" Hallie groaned.

"I'm sorry to wake you dear," Helen apologised.  "But Di's mother is on the phone and she wants to speak to you."

"Okay," Hallie mumbled and swung her legs to the floor.

"Why don't you take it in the study?" Helen suggested.

Hallie nodded and padded down the hall.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Hallie.  I'm sorry to wake you, I know you must be exhausted."

"It's okay."

"I just wanted to thank you for staying with Di last night.  I'm taking her into the city in a moment to see someone.  I just thought you should know."

"Thanks Mrs Lynch," Hallie murmured.  "I think that's a good idea."

"We might be gone a few days," she continued.  "I'm not sure if it would be good for Diana to return before Mart leaves."

"Maybe she should make that decision," Hallie answered lightly.  "It was good of you to let me know, I really hope she's going to be okay."

"So do I dear," Mrs Lynch agreed worriedly.  "I promise I'll let you and the others know how she's going.  How's Mart, Hallie?"

"Devastated," Hallie replied simply.

"So are we," she admitted and there was a pause.  "I have to go Hallie.  I'll speak to you soon."

"Goodbye Mrs Lynch, take care of Di."

"I will.  Goodbye Hallie."

Hallie hung up the phone and stared at the desk.

"What's going on?"

Hallie spun around to face Mart.

"I heard what Moms said," Mart cried.  "What did Di's Mom have to tell you?"

Hallie paused for a second before she answered.

"She's taking Di into the city for a few days," Hallie answered slowly.

"Why?"

"I think she's taking Di to talk to someone," Hallie hesitated.  "I don't really know anything more."

Mart's face contorted and he struggled to control his anger.

"Hallie, I just need to know why," Mart pleaded.

"I wish I could help you," Hallie replied softly.  "But I don't know anything more than you do.  All she would tell me is that she realised she couldn't go through with your plans, she doesn't want a long distance relationship."

"There's got to be more to it than that," Mart cried.

"If there is, I don't know about it," Hallie told him.  "I'm sorry Mart, I really wish I could help you."

"Where did she go?" Mart asked desperately.

"I don't know," Hallie shook her head.  "I only know she's gone into the city with her mother.  I don't know when she'll be back."

Mart's face crumpled and he turned and left quickly.  Hallie heard his door slam shut and the muffled music begin.

You say you want
A diamond on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Our love not to grow cold.

All the promises we make from the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you...

"Jim?" Trixie knocked on his closed door tentatively.

"It's open Trix, come in," Jim called.

Trixie opened the door cautiously and was surprised to find Jim lying on his bed.  He did not get up as she entered, but continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Are you okay?" Trixie asked, standing in the doorway.  "You were awfully quiet down stairs and then you just disappeared."

"It's a lot to take in," Jim admitted quietly.

Trixie nodded and stood awkwardly waiting for him to continue.

"You said you wanted to talk to me," Trixie said finally.

"It doesn't matter now," Jim murmured.  "I'm sorry."

Trixie looked around the room slowly.  She had never been alone in Jim's room with Jim before and she felt suddenly shy.

"Jim, do you want to talk about it..." 

"What's there to say?" Jim muttered.  "I guess our road together now has a new path and not all of us will continue down the same one."

"Oh, don't say that," Trixie wailed.  "We won't let this tear us apart.  Mart and Di won't want that."

"We may not have any control of it," Jim sighed.

Trixie stared at him and realised he had not made eye contact with her since she entered the room.  She felt a sinking sensation as she realised what Jim wanted to tell her.  It was never going to happen between them.

Trixie blinked back tears.

"I'll leave you to it," she murmured and slipped out of the room.

She closed the door behind her and tried to steady her breathing.

"You realise everything you say here is confidential," the psychologist reminded Di.

Di nodded hesitantly.

"You mean you won't tell my mother?"

"No, everything you say is just between us," she assured Di.  "I won't judge you, I won't make you feel bad, I just want to help you through this."

Di glanced sceptically at the woman, uncertain if she was telling the truth.

"You won't tell anyone?"

"Not a soul."

Di looked down at her hands.  Maybe she didn't have to carry this secret all by herself.

"I didn't want to break up with him," Di confessed.  "I still love him, but I had no choice."

"No choice?"

"He would hate me if he knew the truth."

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" She encouraged Di.

"Okay," Di nodded hesitantly.  "I knew something was wrong when..."

"Hallie, why don't you take a seat," Peter invited her.  "I think we need to have a talk."

Hallie glanced from Peter to Helen's face in surprise.  She frowned slightly and sat down at the table.

"We understand things are a little tense between you and your father at the moment," Peter began. "This is not an easy situation for anyone concerned and people grieve differently."

"Some people don't grieve at all," Hallie muttered.

"It might appear that way on the surface," Helen replied gently.  "But your father is dealing with this the only way he knows how."

"He doesn't care about how I'm dealing with Mom's death or how Knut and Cap are coping," Hallie retorted.

"I'm certain he cares very much," Peter told her.  "We spoke to him last night and he's very concerned about you."

"Look, I know you both mean well," Hallie sighed impatiently.  "And I love both of you very much and can't thank you enough for letting me stay with you.  But what's this all about?"

Helen and Peter exchanged a smile.

"We've discussed this with your father," Helen began.  "And he agreed that if you really want to, you can stay here and start school next week."

"I can!"  Hallie cried.  "I can?  Do you mean it?  How long can I stay?"

"For as long as you want," Peter replied, amused by her enthusiastic response.  "We'd love to have you stay here and you'll be company for Trixie now that Mart is leaving for college."

"Oh, thankyou both!"  Hallie cried, hugging them.  "You're the best."

"We're lucky to have you," Helen smiled.  "But your father would like you to keep in touch and go back for holidays.  Your mother wouldn't want your family to fall apart because she's gone."

"I don't want that either," Hallie assured Helen solemnly.  "Cap and Knut mean the world to me, I'd go crazy if I stayed away from them for too long."

"Then welcome to Crabapple Farm," Peter concluded.

Hallie's face lit up in a smile that they hadn't seen since her last visit to Crabapple Farm and Helen and Peter knew they had made the right decision.

"Do you mind if I go out for a while?" Hallie asked eagerly.

"No, dear," Helen laughed.  "Off you go."

Hallie raced out the door.

"Where's she going in such a hurry?" Peter asked.

"Oh, Peter," Helen sighed.  "You can be so blind sometimes!"

"What?!" Peter cried in self defence and Helen silenced him with a kiss.

"You're staying here?" Dan repeated.  "For how long?"

"For as long as I want," Hallie cried triumphantly.  "Isn't that great?"

"Great?' Dan cried.  "Hallie, that's wonderful."

Without thinking, he grabbed her and whirled her around, both of them laughing happily.  They came to a stop, Dan's arms still around her waist and their eyes locked together.

Kiss me, Hallie pleaded silently.

God, I'd love to kiss her right now, Dan thought desperately.

He hesitated as he looked into her eyes and he saw her longing.  I can't, he told himself miserably.  It's too soon, she's still hurting. I can't take advantage of that.

Instead, he pulled her to him in a close hug.

"I'm so glad you're staying," Dan murmured into her hair.  "Now I've got another reason to be grateful I'm going to NYU."

"Are you looking forward to the party tomorrow night?" Hallie asked, disappointed that the moment had passed.

"I was until all this happened with Di and Mart," Dan sighed.  "I don't think it's going to be quite the same."

"No, it's not," Hallie agreed.  "If only Mart wasn't going so far away then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"Don't think he hasn't already thought of that himself," Dan told her.  "He contemplated withdrawing and going to NYU instead but his parents wouldn't hear of it."

"I know," Hallie grimaced.  "They had a roaring argument the other night with Mart doing most of the yelling and Uncle Peter and Aunt Helen trying to make him see reason.  They eventually talked him round."

"I'm glad you're staying," Dan repeated and Hallie looked at him with shining eyes.

"So am I."

"I don't know how you guys talked me into this," Mart muttered.  "I'm not going to enjoy myself, I'm going to make everyone else miserable, why not let me stay at home like I wanted?"

"Because Mr and Mrs Wheeler are throwing this party for you and Dan and your school friends," Trixie told him firmly and they walked with Hallie up the hill to Manor House.

"You haven't left the house in days Mart," Hallie reminded him.  "You're leaving for college tomorrow, don't you want to say goodbye to your school friends?"

"No," Mart growled.  "I don't care about them."

"Stop it Mart!" Trixie cried.  "You know that's not true.  You've got to snap out of this."

Mart opened his mouth to retort, but a gentle touch from Hallie placed a lid on his simmering anger and he retreated into silence.

"I can't believe that from tomorrow Brian, Jim, Mart and Dan will be away at college," Trixie sighed.  "It was hard enough with Brian and Jim gone, but now it will only be us girls."

"Are you looking forward to your senior year Trix?" Hallie asked, trying to steer the subject away from Mart leaving.

"Half and half," Trixie admitted.  "It's going to be a lot of work, but I'm so happy it will be my last year of school!"

"And there's the senior prom," Hallie reminded her.

"Thanks for the reminder," Trixie groaned.  "I'll be desperate and dateless all my senior year."

"Won't Jim come back for your senior prom?" Hallie asked.  "I'm sure Honey will ask Brian."

"I don't know," Trixie replied awkwardly.  "Look, there's some of my class mates.  Why don't you let me introduce you?"

"Are you going to be okay Mart?" Hallie asked.

"Yeah, sure," Mart mumbled and wandered inside, waving half-heartedly to some of his school mates.

"Hey Mart," Nick Roberts called to him and hurried to his side.  "How you doing?"

"I've been better," Mart mumbled and looked around the ball room which was filling with people.

"Can I ask you something?" Nick murmured hesitantly.

"Yeah, whatever," Mart replied, distracted.

"Are Trixie and Jim together?" Nick blurted and then his face flushed.  "I mean, are they a couple, like you and Di?"

"They're exactly like Di and I," Mart snapped.  "Nothing."

Nick blinked in confusion.

"I'm not sure what you mean..."

"Figure it out."

Mart walked off and Nick stared after him.

"Hi Nick," Honey smiled, placing a gentle hand on his arm.  "I'm glad you could make it.  Is everything alright?"

"I'm not sure," Nick replied with a puzzled expression.  "What's up with Mart?"

"Oh," Honey's face fell.  "He and Di recently broke up.  He's still not over it."

"You mean..." Nick began.

"Oh, excuse me Nick, I have to go and supervise the caterers," Honey apologised.  "I'll talk to you later."

Honey hurried off, leaving Nick alone again.

So I guess that means she's not with Jim, Nick thought.  Maybe tonight might be my chance...

"Do you think everyone's having a good time?" Honey asked anxiously.

"I'm having a good time," Brian assured her, hugging her close.  "We don't have to be here do we?  Why don't we just slip upstairs?"

"Brian!" Honey protested with a smile.  "You know I can't, not now.  But we've got all night and I'm not planning on sleeping."

"Oh Honey girl," Brian growled, closing his eyes.  "You drive me wild."

"I can tell," Honey whispered, feeling his growing erection.

"You'd better dance with me," Brian murmured.

"Looks like I don't have a choice, do I?" Honey giggled and they shuffled on to the dance floor.

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

"Mart, will you dance with me?" Hallie asked.  "I hardly know anyone here."

"Dan will dance with you," Mart told her absently.  "I'm not in the mood."

"Oh, come on Mart," Hallie pleaded sweetly.

"Dan, dance with her will you?" Mart muttered.

Dan needed no further encouragement and he took Hallie's hand and drew her to him on the dance floor.

"You didn't really want to dance with Mart, did you?" Dan asked.

"You weren't going to ask me," Hallie teased.  "Seriously though, I was just trying to get his mind off things."

"I know," Dan sighed.  "I'm worried about him going so far away and not having any of his friends around.  Maybe his parents should have let him transfer to NYU."

"They're hoping he'll snap out of it," Hallie confided.  "But I know they're worried."

"I'm not sure I could go so far away even if I could afford it," Dad confessed and he looked shyly at Hallie.  "You look great tonight.'

"Thanks," Hallie smiled widely.

Dan drew her closer to him and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Trixie looked around the room with mixed feelings.  So many friends were about to move on to the next stage of their lives, but she was still stuck in the same place.

She watched Jim talking amicably to some guests and she almost groaned in frustration.  That part of her life would never move forward as much as she might want it to, Jim had practically said as much yesterday.

"You look sad," Nick commented, appearing by her side.

"Each year more of my friends leave," Trixie sighed.  "It's hard imagining life without them."

"Do you get used to it?" Nick asked, looking over at Jim.

"Not completely," Trixie admitted and smiled up at him.  "I heard you got a scholarship for an art school out west."

"I did," Nick answered ruefully.  "But I had to turn it down."

"Oh Nick, why?" Trixie cried.

"My Mom got really sick, worse than she's ever been," Nick confided.  "I couldn't go so far from home, so I accepted a full scholarship at NYU.  It's actually a pretty good deal, so I'm not too unhappy about it."

"So you'll still be around?" Trixie asked, looking up at him.

Nick caught his breath.

"You can count on it," he murmured.  "I've even promised to help out with the art program at Sleepyside High this year, so you'll be seeing lots of me."

"Nick, that's great," Trixie smiled.  "I'm glad to hear not all of my friends are leaving Sleepyside."

"There are plenty of reasons for wanting to stay," he began carefully and looked at Trixie for a response.  He hesitated a moment.  "Would you like to dance?"

"I haven't had a better offer all night," Trixie accepted with a smile.

Nick sighed in relief and shyly took Trixie's hand in his.

Trixie looked up at Nick as they began to sway slowly to the music.  She had never really gotten to know him that well, and they had gotten off to a shaky start, but she had always enjoyed his company.  Maybe senior year wouldn't be so lonely after all.

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Jim looked over to where Trixie was dancing with Nick and he felt a tug at his heart.  It had started already.  He had not spoken and she was already in the arms of someone else.

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

It wasn't U2, but the song affected Mart just as badly.  She wouldn't wait for him, even though she had promised she would.

Mart looked up through the tears as he saw someone approach him.  He blinked rapidly, wondering if it was a mirage.  Di was walking towards him.

"I needed to see you before you left," Di murmured.

She looked pale and worried, but she was the most beautiful thing Mart had ever seen.

"Oh Di," Mart cried, reaching out to her.

"Can we go outside?" Di asked, stepping out of his reach.

Mart nodded dumbly and followed her through the crowd and out onto the porch.  The din of the party could still be heard but Mart could hear nothing but the beating of his heart.

"I'm sorry for what I've put you through," Di began.  "I know it was unexpected and I was horribly unfair to you."

"Di..." Mart interjected.

"Please Mart, let me finish," Di pleaded.  "I need to say this."

Mart nodded.

"I really thought we wanted the same things," Di murmured, her eyes not quite meeting his.  "But as it got nearer I began to realise it wasn't what I wanted, I was just doing this for you.  It was making me sick Mart."

Mart's eyes widened in surprise.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He choked.

"I didn't know how," Di confessed.  "I've spent the last few days in therapy trying to understand what I was feeling.  What happened isn't your fault Mart, I just didn't know how to express what I was feeling."

"I'm so sorry," Mart murmured.

"Don't be," Di told him and gently touched his hand.  "I didn't want you to leave thinking this was your fault and feeling so bad.  I'm sorry it has to be this way."

"But what about next year when you start college?" Mart asked desperately.  "Can we be together then?"

"I don't want to make any promises," Di shook her head.  "I can't do that, it wouldn't solve anything.  But I hope we can stay friends, I'd hate to lose that."

Mart stared at Di for a moment.

"I don't want to be your friend," Mart cried.  "I need more than that."

"I'm sorry Mart," Di replied in a shaky voice.  "I can't give you that."

"Di..."

"Please Mart, believe me, it's best for both of us this way," Di assured him quickly.  "I'll write to you, but if you don't want to reply I'll understand."

"Di, can't we find a way to make this work?" Mart pleaded.  "I love you."

"I'm sorry Mart," Di replied tearfully and turned away.  "I have to go."

"No!  Di, wait!" Mart called after her, but she had hurried away and disappeared in to the darkness.

Mart silently slipped into the darkness and walked home.  It was over.

hey, does it ever make you wonder what's on my mind.
i was only ever running back to your side.
i never cried, i just watched my life go by.
it's just a pack of lies, coz you're leaving me behind.

It was mid morning when all the Bobwhites gathered at Crabapple Farm to say goodbye.  There was nervous laughter as they gathered outside in the sunlight underneath a glorious blue sky.

Honey and Brian never left each other's side and they spoke quietly to each other while the others made plans to see each other during breaks.

why after this long is there nothing i'll keep.
oh i can shout, you'll pretend you're falling asleep.
i live a lie believing that you're mine.
it's just a waste of time, coz you're leaving me behind.

Trixie watched Jim cautiously and with a sense of detachment.  They had shared one dance last night and nothing had changed, nothing was said, nothing had to be.  She knew it was no use pretending anymore.

hey,there's not a cloud in the sky.
its as blue as your goodbye.
and i thought it would rain on a day like today.
hey, there's not a cloud in sight.
its as blue as your blue good bye.
and i thought it would rain the day you went away.

"So I'll see you next weekend?" Hallie asked Dan shyly.

"I'll speak to you before then," Dan assured her.  "I'm going to miss you."

"Really?" Hallie asked, trying to disguise her delight.

"Really," Dan told her and hugged her.

hey, does it ever make you wonder what's on my mind.
i was only ever running back to your side.
good bye.
and i thought it would rain on a day like today.
hey there's not a cloud in sight.
its a blue as your blue good bye.
and i thought that it would rain the day you went away.

"Goodbye Mart," Di murmured sadly.

Mart looked hard at her, hoping she would change her mind, hoping that this nightmare would end.

"If you write to me, I'll write back," he told her.

Di smiled and hugged him quickly, but not long enough for him to cling to her.

"Bye Trix," Jim tried to smile.

"Bye Jim," Trixie replied with forced cheerfulness.  "I'll speak to you soon.  Take care of yourself."

Jim nodded and turned away.

Their eyes couldn't help but be drawn to Honey and Brian as they said goodbye, clinging to each other and not wanting to break the caress they shared.  Brian leaned into kiss Honey, long and lingering and Trixie swallowed hard, feeling very small.

Finally, they pulled apart and with one last caress, Brian climbed into the car where Jim, Dan and Mart were waiting.  Brian and Jim would be leaving Dan at NYU and Mart at JFK airport on their way to college.

Helen, Peter and Bobby waved sadly as the car pulled away and the four girls held hands sadly.  The tears ran unchecked down Honey's cheeks as the car disappeared from view.

"Well, it's just us girls now," Di said bravely and tried to smile. 

"Whoever said parting was such "sweet sorrow" sure got it wrong," Honey sniffed.  "I feel like my heart has been torn out."

"The sweetness comes with his return," Hallie assured her.

"It won't be soon enough for me," Honey replied.  "But at least we've got each other."

"Good friends can make it through anything," Trixie said firmly and smiled at her friends.  "We're going to have a great year.  I can feel it."

The others smiled back at her and they moved slowly towards the house, their thoughts all occupied with the boys' departure.

i live a lie believing that you're mine.
it's just a waste of time, coz you're leaving me behind.

hey there's not a cloud in sight.
its a blue as your blue good bye.
and i thought that it would rain the day you went away.

The End