Unspoken

Author’s Note:  Trixie Belden® is the registered trademark of Random House. This story is not for profit. 

"It hasn't for me," Hallie groaned.  "I'm just a lowly junior, and new at that."

"Oh, you'll fit in fine," Honey assured her.  "But I'm not looking forward to how much work we have to do this year, and who's going to help us now that all the guys have gone?"

"Dan will be back on weekends," Hallie reminded her.  "And you could always set aside some time in your phone calls to Brian to talk about your school work."

"I forget everything else as soon as I hear his voice," Honey admitted with a giggle.

"So are you looking forward to this year Di?" Trixie asked her friend, who had been silent on the ride into school.  "You're sure to make prom queen."

"That's something to look forward to," Di muttered as she pulled her shiny red car into the car park.  "I can't wait."

Trixie looked at Honey and Hallie and rolled her eyes.  Di had not been herself since she had broken up with Mart, she was almost like a different person.

"You'd make a great prom queen Di," Honey assured her.  "You're so popular and you're the prettiest girl in the senior class."

"Thanks Honey," Di murmured and gathered her books.  "Let's go and get this over with."

There was a buzz as the four girls walked down the hall.  Trixie and Honey greeted their friends eagerly and introduced them to Hallie, who was strangely quiet.  A few people spoke to Di, but there was more conversation after she walked past than there was directed to her.

"Did you hear Di and Mart Belden split up?"

"I heard her father forced them to."

"That's not right, he met someone else and split up with her."

"I thought she cheated on him."

"Hi Di," Paul Watson smiled flirtatiously at her.  "Looking forward to having you as my lab partner this year."

"Thanks Paul," Di mumbled.  "I'll see you in biology."

"Who was that?" Hallie whispered to Trixie.

"Cute, huh?" Trixie grinned.  "He's the most popular boy in senior year and he's had a thing for Di for ages, but he's been too cool to show it."

"And him?" Hallie nudged her, nodding to another guy talking to Di.

"The captain of the football team," Trixie told her and sighed.  "I guess everyone knows that she and Mart broke up.  She's been single ten minutes and she has every guy in school after her.  I can't even get a date for Spring Dance."

"I haven't got one either," Hallie answered with a smile.

"But you've got Dan," Trixie replied.  "And don't look that way at me, I can see there's something going on between you two."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I bet you don't."

"So how was your first day of school?" Dan asked Hallie.

"It was school," Hallie replied with a shrug.  "But tell me about college.  How were your classes?"

"It's great," Dan admitted.  "My lecturer's are great and I've met some nice people.  The classes don't seem too hard so I think I'm going to manage alright."

"Dan, that's great," Hallie cried.  "I wish I was at college."

"Sleepyside High isn't that bad," Dan protested.

"No, it's not," Hallie agreed.  "I just wish I had more control over my life."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dan asked in concern.

"Not really," Hallie sighed.  "I'm just a bit tired and down.  I wish you were here.  A walk in the woods with you right now would work wonders."

"Oh, that does sound good," Dan replied ruefully.  "A walk through the city isn't quite the same."

There was a pause for a second as they both imagined a walk through the woods together.  The outcome of their thoughts was the same.

"I'll be home on Friday night," Dan said finally.  "If the moon's bright maybe we can go walking then."

"That sounds nice," Hallie sighed.  "I guess I'd better go."

"Got homework already?"

"No," Hallie replied.  "Mart hasn't called yet and Aunt Helen wants to ring him if he doesn't call soon."

"Let me know how he's doing," Dan asked.  "And remember, you can call me any time you need to talk."

"Thanks Dan, I'm glad I can talk to you," Hallie murmured.

"Anytime Hallie," Dan answered.  "Take care."

"Bye Dan."

"Brian, I didn't expect you to call me tonight."

"I can hang up..."

"No, don't you dare!" Honey cried.  "It's so great to hear your voice again."

"Yours too," Brian sighed.  "So how was the second day of school?"

"Not much different to the first," Honey replied.  "Everyone's still talking about Mart and Di.  Thank goodness he's not here to hear it, it's bad enough on Di."

"How's she coping?"

"She's pretty quiet and keeps to herself," Honey told him.  "Hallie manages to cheer her up a little, but I think she's really missing Mart."

"Maybe they will get back together," Brian remarked.

"I don't know," Honey mused.  "Di doesn't usually change her mind about important stuff."

"She's never made a decision this important before," Brian commented.  "But let's not talk about it anymore.  What are you wearing?"

"Brian!" Honey giggled.

"I bet it's that lacy underwear with the really thin straps," Brian continued in low tones.

"I only wear that when you're around," Honey murmured.

"I like it better when you take it off."

"I like it better when you take it off!"

"Tell me..."

"Hi Trix."

"Hey, Mart!  How's the college boy?"

"Fine, what's up?"

"Just school stuff, I've got tonnes of assignments already."

"All my old ones are in my desk," Mart reminded her.  "They're there if you need them."

"Thanks, I might have to use them," Trixie sighed and wondered what else to say.  "So how are your classes?"

"Fine, just the usual."

"It's been three days and it's 'just the usual'!" Trixie cried.  "I didn't think you'd get so complacent about college life so quickly."

"It's not that different to school Trix," Mart sighed.  "It's just a lot bigger and thousands of miles from home."

"I guess..." Trixie murmured.

"Can I speak to Hallie?"

"Sure, I'll just get her for you," Trixie answered quickly.  "Take care Mart."

"Yeah, you too Trix."

"Hallie!  Mart wants to talk to you."

"Sure, hang on a sec," Hallie called back and Mart heard her run to the phone.

"Hey, cuz what's up?"

"Not much, how about you?"

"Getting settled into school, meeting people, trying to keep up with the school work," Hallie complained good-naturedly.  "I guess you're doing the same."

"Pretty much," Mart agreed and paused.  "How's everyone else?"

"Same as usual," Hallie replied.  "Bobby got a new pet frog that somehow ended up in my bed, but my hair gel somehow ended up on his tooth brush so I figure we're even."

Mart almost laughed and then remembered.

"And the others?"

"Di's fine Mart," Hallie replied gently.  "She's pretty quiet, but she's coping."

"Does she... does she talk about me?"

"I try to keep her mind off it," Hallie admitted.  "But she knows she can talk to me if she needs to.  I think she went into the city to see her therapist again tonight."

"I'm glad she's got people to talk to," Mart sighed.

"And what about you?" Hallie asked gently.  "Have you got someone to talk to?"

"I'm talking to you, aren't I?" Mart answered tiredly.  "I'm doing okay, I'm keeping busy and that helps.  If I really need some help, there's the RA or a campus counsellor or something."

"I'm always here Mart," Hallie assured him.  "And don't be afraid to talk to those people.  An objective person can help a lot."

"Thanks Hallie," Mart replied gratefully.  "You'll let me know if anything happens to her, won't you?"

"I'll do what I can," Hallie answered, a little uncomfortable.  "Do you want to talk to your Mom?"

"I guess I'd better," Mart sighed.  "Thanks Hallie."

"Anytime Mart, take care."

"Hi Honey."

"Jim!  How's school?"

"It's like I never left," Jim groaned.  "I'm up to my eyeballs in work already."

"Oh, you'll cope," Honey cried.  "You always do.  Do you still get homesick?"

"As bad as ever," Jim admitted ruefully.  "It was different leaving home this time, something's changed."

"I know what you mean," Honey agreed thoughtfully.  "A lot of things have changed, it's not just one thing."

"I guess it's a lot harder on you," Jim remarked.  "You must be missing Brian."

"Is he prompting you to say that?" Honey giggled.

"No," Jim laughed.  "He's at study group.  How do you cope with it?"

"I talk to him as much as I can and for the rest of the time, I keep myself busy," Honey confided.  "I count the days until we see each other again.  What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"How do you cope with the things you miss?" Honey asked slyly.

"Uh... I keep busy, just like you and try not to think about it," Jim murmured.

"It doesn't make it go away," Honey pointed out.

"I know," Jim admitted.  "But what else can I do?"

Honey bit her tongue to keep from responding the way she wanted to.  She and Brian had long ago decided not to interfere in the thwarted relationship between their siblings and best friends.

"So is Brian missing me?"

"He's climbing the walls," Jim laughed.  "I think he sleeps with that picture of you."

"Really?"

"I don't know, I don't get close enough to look," Jim smiled.  "But I know he misses you a lot.  How's everything at Crabapple Farm?"

Honey smiled.  She had been waiting for this question.

"Great, as far as I know," she replied.  "Hallie seems to be settling in and I don't know what Di would have done without her lately."

"How is Di?"

"Not the same," Honey admitted.  "She's pretty quiet, not her normal vivacious self."

"She chose this."

"I don't think it was an easy choice," Honey reminded him.  "She and Mart were very much in love.  You don't make that sort of decision lightly."

"I still don't understand it."

"It's a big commitment to agree to a long distance relationship," Honey remarked.  "Not everyone can do it."

Jim swallowed hard, reminded of why he chose not to tell Trixie how he felt.

"You're a stronger person than I am," Jim admitted.

"You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for," Honey replied gently.  "Don't underestimate yourself Jim, you may end up regretting it one day."

There was a brief moment of silence and Honey chided herself for overstepping her self-imposed boundary.

"Sometimes I forget that you're a grown woman and not just my little sister," Jim said seriously.  "How did you get so wise?"

"A good friend of mine taught me to trust my instincts," Honey replied lightly.  "I follow her advice, it's just a pity she doesn't always follow her own."

"I want to talk to you two about Di," Honey said in a hushed voice, pulling Trixie and Hallie into an empty class room.

"What's wrong?" Trixie asked in alarm.  "Is she okay?"

"She's fine now, I think," Honey said.  "But I think she might have a problem."

"What sort of problem?" Hallie asked, a sickening feeling growing within her.

"Well, after lunch Di and I went to the ladies room," Honey began.  "I finished and called to her that I'd see her later.  I was half way down the hall when I realised I'd left my books in there.  I went back to get them and could hear someone throwing up."

"So?" Trixie shrugged.  "After eating lunch in our cafeteria I'm hardly surprised."

"It was Di," Honey told them worriedly.

"How can you be sure?" Hallie asked.  "She might have left before you got back."

"But she didn't," Honey frowned.  "Their was only one occupied stall and I waited outside to make sure she was okay.  The Mrs Nickerson came along and told me to get class.  I looked back over my shoulder and saw Di come out."

"Maybe lunch didn't agree with her," Trixie suggested.  "Or it could be the stress of this whole break-up thing."

"I think so too, the latter I mean," Honey agreed.  "But I concerned that Di might be developing a problem."

"What sort of problem?" Hallie asked slowly.

"Bulimia," Honey almost whispered.

"Oh, no!  Not Di!" Trixie protested.  "She eats as well as I do."

"It doesn't matter that she eats, the problem is that she's throwing up after eating," Honey pointed out.  "That's what bulimia is."

"What are we going to do?" Trixie breathed.

"Let me talk to her," Hallie said quickly.  "I'm not sure this is the problem, but I'll try and find out."

"How's everything at home?" Jim asked after Brian got off the phone.

"Fine, same as usual," Brian yawned and fell down onto his bed.

"Do you miss it more now?"

"I miss Honey," Brian smiled sadly.  "And I miss the feeling of home.  I can't wait for the day that I have a home of my own."

"With Honey?"

"Yeah, with Honey," Brian grinned.

Jim laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

"I really hate this first month back at college," Jim admitted.  "Every morning I wake up and forget I'm not at home."

"What do you miss most?" Brian asked carefully.

"My friends, the feeling of home, a sense of belonging," Jim sighed.  "Sleepyside is the only home I've had for most of my life.  I guess it's my security blanket.  I don't feel quite whole unless I'm back there."

"I know what you mean about not feeling whole," Brian responded.  "I guess you give parts of yourself to people and you can never feel complete until you're with them."

"That's exactly how I feel," Jim replied.  "I thought it would get easier."

"How can it get easier to be away from the people and the place that you love?" Brian asked him.  "It can only get harder, otherwise you let the things you love slip away."

"What do you think happened between Mart and Di?" Jim asked thoughtfully.

"I don't know," Brian sighed.  "I'm not even sure they do."

"Do you think things will ever be the same between all of us?" Jim raised the question hesitantly.

"Things don't have to change," Brian replied firmly.  "As long as we're there for each other when we need it, then we'll still be the Bobwhites."

"Di, what's wrong?  What happened?" Hallie cried as she saw two girls escorting a pale Di to the nurse.

"I'm okay," Di answered weakly.  "I just over-exerted myself in gym class."

"She fainted." One of the girls explained.

"I'll help her," Hallie said quickly.  "You girls go back to class."

Hallie put her arm around Di and escorted into the nurse's station.  They sat down on the wooden bench and waited.

"What's going on Di?" Hallie asked gently.

"I'm still sick," Di whispered.  "I thought it would get better now that Mart's gone and I'm seeing a therapist, but it's still there.  I'm going to see a doctor in the city tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be fine after that."

Hallie looked carefully at Di.

"This is me, Di," Hallie told her softly.  "You can trust me, you can tell me anything."

"I have told you," Di murmured and looked away.

"C'mon Di, I know there's more to it than that," Hallie continued.  "Honey and Trixie know you've been sick and they think you might have bulimia. But it's not that, is it?"

"Bulima?" Di repeated in a horrified tone.  "How could they think that?  I'll be fine, I just need a few more days."

"For what Di?" Hallie asked suspiciously.  "I'm your friend, tell me what's going on.  I can help you."

Di's eyes filled with tears.

"You can't tell anyone," Di sobbed.

"I promise," Hallie assured her.

"Oh, Hallie," Di whispered.  "I'm pregnant!"

The End